OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
thus making me awesome and them whores
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
