Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
