ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So vagazzling was a success
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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