Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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