using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
farters have to be the big spoon...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
