I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
