Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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