you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
