I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
