Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
