I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
