brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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