Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize