Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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