The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize