Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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