Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
