At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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