I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
then he tried to convert me to islam
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
