you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
