My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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