Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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