i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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