It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
