for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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