i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
