Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
