Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
