the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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