so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize