Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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