I hate your face
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
