its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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