just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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