oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
