Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
PANTIES FOUND
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
