Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My vagina is officially offended.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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