Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
