Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
