Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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