do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize