Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
