can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
