he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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