I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
