i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
