idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
