I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
