Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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