Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
