Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize