I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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