You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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