You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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