You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
