ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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