id be glad to
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its not stalking. its research.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize