Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
