It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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