No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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