Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
