Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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