So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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