Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
