I cannot find my penis.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he thought i was a dude.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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