Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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