I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sober January is a disaster.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
