just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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