OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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