I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
