I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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