oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
