just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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