giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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