were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
