ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
