Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
