i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
