maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
