Do you still have your period?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
