Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
