Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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